Motherhood in Isolation
A series documenting mothers and children in isolation during the early days of lock downs. Photographed from a distance in people’s front yards, on porches, balconies, gardens and through windows. I was very inspired to create and document throughout our time in isolation and love seeing how people are managing their time at home. I asked mothers to share how they were coping, how they were feeling and what their days in isolation were like.
Paige & Elliott - Reservoir
Paige: I'm coping pretty well and feeling really lucky to be living in Aus. I feel like since I've worked as a freelancer for over ten years now I know these times of quiet and uncertainty well. It's something I've gotten used to over the years and have learnt to trust that the work will pick up again, which it always does. I know things will be different this time but I'm not freaking out yet. With regards to my son Elliott I'm trusting that these unusual times are helping him to gain resilience and be adaptable, he's doing really well so far.
To look after myself I have to exercise - this is a must to feel good. At the beginning of isolation I wasn't doing much physically and was feeling pretty flat. So I try to go for a long brisk walk/jog every day and then do strength exercises in the backyard. When I'm working I'm usually on my feet all day and physically busy, I'm not good with sitting around not moving much so this helps me feel myself again.
On the days I have Elliott we do a lot of imaginary play, the favourite of the moment is restaurants where I'm the waiter and he's the chef with play doh food. We play a lot in the yard - trampoline, chalk on the driveway, making obstacle courses, made a veggie patch. And definitely movies/tv - Howl's Moving Castle is current fav, or just Bluey on repeat. We've also been going to park and since we can't play on the equipment we watch the dogs instead. We're both enjoying the slow pace of this. On days when he's at daycare there's always something to do - clean/tidy, sort props, work on my website and work on creative ideas to feel inspired - even if it's just putting a mood board together for a shoot that I plan to do after iso.
Another thing I try to do is give myself a rest from all of the news about Covid. It is extremely sad for many in the world. I'm pretty surprised at how well it's gone here, so I feel I have no right to complain about anything personally.
Marian & Leif - Thornbury
Marian: My two lives - as a mother and worker - are merging in the one space and to be honest there are days when I feel I am working harder than ever trying to balance the two. Making space to be present for my incredibly energetic child is something I have to be really conscious about. I love that in this time I can bear witness to his imaginative play and development in a way that I don't when he is at kinder .... but I also struggle to not think about work and the external things I still need to pay attention to. For me, motherhood in iso is a lesson in creating boundaries, doing less and practising gratitude, but I can't pretend any of this is easy for me.
Sally, Honey and Alan - Thornbury
Alan: I have finally realised my dream of being a stay at home chef, shopper, cleaner and gardener. Now I just need someone to pay me!
Sally: Being home is easy but not going to work is hard. A thumping heart at 3am, the thud of anxiety about the future; our health and income. An enveloping lethargy.. maybe from all the booze and home baking!
Honey: Not available for comment - busy watching Seinfeld.
Emily, Lotte & Jens - Reservoir
Beckie, James, Nora and Bobby - Reservoir
Beckie: We're going ok. Some days I feel like I’m going insane then others I feel pretty positive and that I might be a bit sad when we go back to normal (though probably not… ha ha). I am doing the homeschooling tasks mon-fri, though I'm not super strict about getting everything done. We go for a walk everyday and watch a movie everyday. The baby is entertained by watching us and/or the trees.
I feel so much better now the number of cases are getting less, I truly thought we would all get it at some point. My family are all in the UK and you would be hard pressed to find someone there who doesn’t know someone who has it / had it / has died from it.
To look after myself I am making sure I get a bit of time away from the 5 year old everyday. She’s ace but by the end of the day my patience is wafer thin so instead of yelling I go for a walk around the block followed by a big glass of wine.
I worry about those people who have lost their jobs, older women especially. It fucking sucks. I really hope they can get back into the work force after this.
Sophie, Ottie, Louis and Niko - Heidelberg
Sophie: We’ve been in quarantine for about 6 weeks now. It’s starting to feel normal and I wonder how we’ll go integrating back into our old life. The days are long and loud. My boys (6, 4 and 1) are up at 6am without fail every day and we begin the juggle of remote learning, keeping quiet so my husband Jono (who’s a teacher) can have Zoom calls, making sure the baby isn’t getting into the LEGO and making 1000 snack requests.
On top of this I’m running my own business from home in the minutes I can steal during the day, and making up the lost time in the evenings when the house is finally quiet.
I feel like I haven’t had the luxury of soaking in this extra time with the kids because the pressures of working from home have made things hard. I haven’t been the early rising, yoga practicing, gratitude journal writing woman that I had hoped. But we’re healthy and that’s something I’ve come to appreciate now more than I ever have before.
Amanda, Ned and Toni - Brunswick West
Amanda: I’m really lucky to have my husband Matt at home with me for 3 months. We had this time off together when we had Toni and wanted to do the same when Ned came along. It’s a juggle, but completely manageable. If we were both working from home however, it would be really really hard. The hardest thing is not being able to see people face to face and I miss hugging my friends. Ned hasn’t met his grandparents in person yet as we have been self isolating now for over 5 weeks.
Thankfully Toni (who is five) spends a large part of her time entertaining herself. So long as one of us is present to “watch this” or “see what I can do”, she seems happy to potter about. Once we have knocked over the home schooling for the morning, she fills most of her day creating and immersed in imaginary play.
I think because I had always anticipated being at home a lot with a newborn, I’m not feeling all that constrained right now. Ask me again in a month or so! Matt however is definitely feeling house bound. And Toni has a new hobby which involves climbing the walls. We are cooking a lot of great food and walking around the block each day. Thankfully, my mental health is sound. Any worries seem to melt away when I snuggle Ned’s little face.
Like many people are saying, it’s unlikely we will have time like this together again anytime soon. Being able to self isolate feels like a privilege really. There are so many people who just don’t have that as an option. Right now I’m loving life and my babies and feel really lucky to be able to spend so much quality time with them.
Bec, Julian and Lindsay - Eltham
Bec: I love being home with Angus and the boys. I could do away with some of the weekday antics. I’ve noticed my anxiety is triggered mostly by responsibilities I have with work and the very real fact that work is now directly competing with the kids’ needs. Sometimes though, my work is what I need and I can’t tend to that. So there’s a tension there. Also, I’m trying to make a buck so I can keep up with the 5pm ISO cocktail routine. Self medicating? Probs. Maybe I should quit work and booze? Boring.
Weekends I wash clothes, cook and float around fussing over the house and the boys, tuning in and out of Isol-Aid. Happy place. The kids must feel the relief on us too because they’re way less crazy. Not competing as much for our attention I guess.
I miss hugs and feeling belly giggles from my friends but Jules tells me he loves all his extra cuddles with his ‘squigy’ Mumma. We’ve been doing some virtual movies with mates. Hot tip: choose a movie that you can all bag out together.
And I miss hot date nights with Ang. We love going out as a couple and staying in just ain’t the same when your kids need to get up to wee or show you their mozzie bites.
Carla
Carla: I had just moved into a new studio space and had been looking forward to spending more time on my lettering work when COVID-19 hit Australia. We took our son out of daycare and I’ve been at home with him and my partner Tim since. We had a tragic death in the family just before Easter, and not being able to go to the funeral in Sydney or be with our family has made it hard to process the grief. I'm also 14 weeks pregnant and struggling with nausea, fatigue and toddler meltdowns so it’s quite tiring at the moment.
Tim is working from the spare room and doing a lot of video calls whilst our son runs past the door yelling ‘want to see Daddy!’ We get out for a walk in the park once a day and then hang out at home drawing, playing duplo, dancing, napping, FaceTiming family and terrorising the two cats. There has been a lot of bread and pizza making, so we’re just living our best carb life. Now we’ve settled into a new normal, I feel like we have really bonded and I’m cherishing our time together until we’re a family of 4.
Bree & Ari - Brunswick East apartment
Bree: I’m coping well! Primarily because a) I can't work at the moment, so not trying to combine working from home with homeschooling, which would be awful! and b) I qualify for JobKeeper, which has taken the stress of whether or not I'll starve off my shoulders! As for keeping the kids entertained, I only have the one, which makes it easier. If he had a sibling I guess they could play together, but in my experience siblings spend at least as much time fighting as playing, and constantly refereeing fights sounds like hell to me. We've started homeschooling, which means our weekdays are quite busy. On the weekends, we make a list to plan out our day, I find that things run a lot smoother if I do this! A typical list is pretty simple and usually includes yoga, reading (we're trying to get through the Harry Potter books at the moment), a long walk, a virtual playdate with a friend, a movie or a show, and cooking or baking something.
To be honest, I think this period has actually been quite good for my mental health! I'm a photographer and most of my work dried up in the space of a week back in March, and I had some dark moments at that time. But once the JobKeeper was announced, and I knew that financially I would be ok, I started to quite enjoy being forced to take some time off. Like every other working parent, I've been BUSY for years, never getting to the end of the To Do list and never taking a real break. But now I look at my calendar and there's nothing on it, and it's quite nice to just breathe for a while! My days are centred around very basic activities; cooking, exercising, chatting with friends, reading, cleaning. I've able to connect with my six year old in such a nice way as well. Before it was always "Mummy needs to do a bit of work", my attention was always divided. Now we can hang out all day and there's nothing else taking my attention away from him. I feel like this will probably never happen again and I'm trying to really enjoy it!
Deirdre - Reservoir
Georgie & Mala
Georgie: I have been home with my daughter Mala for 2 months now. My partner was the only staff member kept at his work so we have been lucky in that sense. I started off lockdown with big plans and a schedule. It worked for the first week but it quickly slipped into just taking each day as it comes. I have found some weeks easy and some weeks tremendously difficult just waiting for bedtime so I can hide and finally have some peace. I have learnt a lot from Mala - how well she took the change, what activities she really likes to do around the house, mostly chores and cooking seem to be her jam. Her drawing and letter writing has also suddenly come on a lot in the past few weeks, which was exciting as it was almost entirely self led.
I’ve decided to go back and study counselling and become a postpartum doula hoping that doing these online courses will keep my brain busy during the coming months. I am not a very disciplined person so I’m hoping this will help me manage the rest of my iso time more wisely - and watch a bit less Netflix. I have tried to support as many local cafes as possible as I love cafe culture and I know how tough it has been for that industry. Often we take our daily walk and try to find somewhere different to buy a coffee and cake from.
Like everyone I just want this to pass, be able to make future plans again, travel, socialise and for people’s anxiety to ease.
Kath & Jasper - Northcote
We've been isolating for about 8 weeks now and I think we've run the full gamut of emotions around it all. Moments of profound togetherness and connection, and moments of deep anxiety and overwhelm.
We both work in the Live Performance Industry so we started to lose work as soon as the restrictions began. There was panic, frustration, and grief around that. Shock too. Plus the fears and sadness around watching what was happening overseas... the feeling that we would be next... fears for our parents' safety... Yeah, there was a lot going on! We took Jasper out of school just before they closed and my husband and I then went into an intense period of working from home. We went into this rolling cycle of tag teaming who was working while the other was with Jasper from about 7 in the morning till about 11 at night. It's been full on, juggling home schooling a 5 year old with work.
I've found the Federal Government's response to the decimation of the Arts Industry incredibly demoralising. It really gets me down when I dwell on it too much. Still, I am aware that we are not the only industry reeling from this, and Art always finds a way to shine through the cracks. I'm also aware that we are incredibly fortunate in Australia to have been able to (so far) weather the storm so well, and it goes without saying that keeping people safe is the most important thing. I feel so moved when I reflect on the collective action that is taking place to protect our most vulnerable. The heroic work of our health workers, our teachers, the public service, so many people adapting to do whatever it takes to keep people safe. It's incredible. And I know that for a lot of people out there, home is not a safe place for them to be, I think about that a lot. When I start to get cranky about being stuck inside I reflect upon that. My love for my family feels more present than ever, and I'm grateful for this moment to gain perspective on what's truly important. I want to carry that with me and hold it close as we move into whatever it is the future holds.
Mary-Jane, Iris & Georgia - Pascoe Vale South
It really has been such a strange time. I have a five year-old and a 9 month-old, so back in December/January when fires were raging across the country and the air was filed with smoke, I was looking at my children, terrified about what their planet was going to look like in a decade. So when COVID-19 hit, my anxiety certainly peaked. I work in the media, and while I am on maternity leave, I just felt compelled to consume all the news. I soon realised this was not helpful and forced myself to switch off for the best part of the day, to give myself a break. In the last couple of weeks, things have improved. I am busier than ever, helping my five-year-old learn from home and taking care of our baby. It can be a little bit like groundhog day in our house. Each day I wake up hoping that we can get all the school work done without anyone spitting the dummy and that those that need a nap, take them. My eldest daughter has really been quite amazing. She has coped so well under the circumstances and has become my little helper, entertaining her little sister. We make sure we get out for a walk or bike ride everyday and she gets to choose what route we take. This is my favourite time of the day, as it is when life feels normal again.
Emily and Willow - Preston
